Unmet Needs: The Subtle Cues in Neurodivergent Individuals You Don’t Want to Miss

Carol Hegan
13 minutes ago
3 min read

At Grow Therapy Services, we believe behaviour is communication, and for neurodivergent individuals, it’s often the most accessible way to express distress, discomfort, or disconnection when their needs aren’t being met.

Understanding unmet needs isn’t about focusing on what's “wrong” with a person—it's about recognising the mismatch between the environment, expectations, and the individual’s sensory, emotional, communication, or processing needs.

Let’s dive into how these unmet needs can quietly show up and why early recognition is the key to support, regulation, and wellbeing.

What Are “Unmet Needs”?

Unmet needs are the things a person requires - physically, emotionally, socially, or environmentally - that are not being fulfilled at a particular moment.

For neurodivergent children and adults, this might include:

Sensory overstimulation or under-stimulation
Lack of agency or autonomy in routines
Disconnection from safe relationships or co-regulation support
Communication barriers
Unprocessed emotions or transitions
Task demands that don’t align with executive functioning abilities

Unmet needs aren’t “bad behaviour”—they are unmet supports. And when left unrecognised, they can build up to burnout, shutdown, or escalation.

Image: The GROW Needs Wheel

The Early Warning Signs to Watch For

Unmet needs can manifest subtly before they escalate into more overt behaviours.

Recognising these signs is critical in building a neuroaffirming, proactive approach.

Some early cues include:

Changes in energy or engagement

A usually talkative child becomes quiet and withdrawn.
Fluctuating focus or hyperactivity beyond baseline.
Apathy or refusal to participate.

Physical and sensory cues

Increased stimming or movement (e.g., toe-walking, tapping, jumping, spinning).
Covering ears, avoiding eye contact, or seeking escape.
Sudden complaints of tummy aches or headaches (often somatic signs of stress).

Executive functioning challenges

Forgetfulness, clumsiness, or disorganisation that feels “out of the blue.”
Difficulty starting or switching tasks—even if they’re preferred.

Social-emotional signals

Avoidance of interaction or people they usually feel safe with.
Rigid thinking, black-and-white statements (“I can’t do anything”).
Emotional reactions that seem out of proportion.

These are not problems to be “fixed”—they are simply the signals that cue us to the hidden messages behind behaviours.

Why This Matters for Mental Health and Wellbeing

According to recent research, unmet needs and chronic misattunement in childhood significantly impact lifelong wellbeing, particularly in neurodivergent individuals.

“Autistic adults are up to 9 times more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and mental ill-health when their needs are unmet, invalidated, or unsupported throughout development.”(Cassidy et al., 2021, The Lancet Psychiatry)

When we listen early, respond with empathy, and adapt environments—not people—we change the trajectory of mental health outcomes for a whole generation.

What You Can Do Next

Look beneath the behaviour – Ask: “What might this behaviour be telling me?”
Use a needs lens – Consider sensory, communication, connection, predictability, and autonomy.
Shift your approach – Instead of correcting, connect. Adjust the environment. Offer regulation tools.
Stay in the green (proactiveness - not zones) – Use visuals, movement, co-regulation, and flexibility to support everyday functioning.

How the GROW™ Framework Helps

At Grow Therapy Services, our GROW™ Framework supports practitioners and families to:

Understand distress as communication
Identify and respond to unmet needs early
Create safe, adaptable environments
Empower neurodivergent individuals with tools that work for them

It’s not about compliance. It’s about connection and collaboration.

Learn more about our Foundations and Certified Practitioner Training programs👉 Explore the GROW™ Framework